与我为邻

史上最卖座的人物传记纪录片，主人公是一位与众不同的儿童电视节目制作人Fred Rogers。他自制自编自主持的节目《Mister Rogers' Neighborhood》从60年代一直播到新世纪（年数仅次于《芝麻街》），每集半小时共900多集，可谓长盛不衰老少咸宜。但这部纪录片更多的不是关于这个节目，而是关于Rogers其人。

影片围绕几个问题展开：Rogers究竟有什么魔力让孩子们喜欢他和他的节目？Rogers谦谦君子的形象究竟是人设还是人性？Rogers怎样看待自己？怎样看待Rogers传递的价值观？

我找到的答案如下：1、Rogers在匹兹堡大学学过儿童发育研究生课程的经历，使他能站在儿童的视角问问题、想问题、展现问题、回答问题、处理问题，从而能跟儿童有效的沟通。2、Rogers在银幕上永远是斯文和善充满正能量的人，很多人觉得他装，但几乎所有受采访的人都表示他在生活中也是如此。当然这不排除他自己也在30年的银幕生涯中锻造了自己的性格。3、Rogers作为凡人当然也有七情六欲，但他的处理方式一是发泄在爱好中（钢琴游泳），二是通过他操控的玩偶来表达（包括一只小老虎和一位国王）。他也会迷茫和自省，甚至在死前问老婆自己是绵羊还是山羊。4、这是个最尖锐的问题，但影片却匆匆带过。Rogers节目的主旨是告诉每个儿童“要做自己”，这虽然到现在还是很主流的价值观，但当从童话世界走进现实社会，长大后会发现光做自己还远远不够。当然，这毕竟是给学龄前儿童看的节目，似乎也不能苛求太多了吧。

该片的主人公弗雷德·罗杰斯（Fred Rogers）是美国最著名、影响最深远的儿童电视节目《罗杰斯先生的邻居》（Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood）的制作人及主持人。他从1968年开始主持的《罗杰斯先生的邻居》，影响了四十年间一代代的美国儿童。

他曾说过：“生活中真正的问题不是我们拥有多少祝福，而是我们用我们的祝福做了什么。有些人拥有许多祝福并把它们珍藏起来，有些人拥有的很少，却把所有的都给了别人。”

他告诉观众“你是特别的”，其实不是普罗大众意义上的特别，也绝非理所应当的不劳而获，而是说人应该享有被爱的权利以及发展出爱人的能力（这也是决定一个人一生幸福的关键所在）。尽管他有些理想主义的色彩，但他却把这种理想主义付诸于行动，也确实温暖了无数人。

他告诉每一个观众，你就是你自己，独一无二。就像小王子对待他的玫瑰花。

他在每天节目最后会说：

“You've made this day a special day, by just your being you. There's no person in the whole world like you, and I like you, just the way you are.”

From the time you were very little, you’ve had people who have smiled you into smiling, people who have talked you into talking, sung you into singing, loved you into loving. Let’s just take some time to think of those extra special people, some may be right here, some may be far away, some may even be in heaven, no matter where they are, deep down you know, they’ve always wanted what was best for you, they’ve always cared about you beyond measure and have encouraged you to be true to the best within you.”花一分钟去想想生命里那些带给你无尽关怀的人，温暖你、帮助你、只希望你好。感恩他们。

“You know, I think everybody longs to be loved, and longs to know he or she is lovable, and consequently, the greatest thing that we can do is to help somebody know that they’re loved and capable of loving.”

“You have to make each day a special day, by just being yourself, there’s nobody else in the whole world who’s exactly like you, and people can like you as exactly as you are, you are special.”

By Fred Rogers

如果我小时候看过这个节目，我的人生可能会从此不一样。

依稀记得之前境界公众号推送过他，昨天偶尔看了这部片子，才明白为何这个身穿毛衣脚踩乐福鞋的儒雅先生成为许多孩子童年最美好的记忆和陪伴。

看完后，又找了罗杰斯先生的一些访谈去看。下面按着关键词散记一些内容。

爱

罗杰斯先生说话有种独特的能力，真诚，平和，充满对人的尊重，理解，接纳……这一切都是从爱而来。

他的核心理念是爱，而其中一方面在于接纳：

"Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now."

爱的另一个体现在于倾听：

"Listening is where love begins: listening to ourselves and then to our neighbors."

片中还提到一个有趣的细节，就是罗杰斯先生喜欢数字143。1代表我（I），4代表爱（love），3代表（you）。他经常游泳完去称重，体重143 pounds (~65kg)。他从1960s时候基本保持着这个体重。马友友很惊叹他能一直做到这一点。

我能想到的诗意解读是，他的生命都是爱的分量。

他还写创作了一首歌：

Many Ways To Say I Love You

There are many ways to say I love you There are many ways to say I care about you. Many ways, many ways, many ways to say I love you.

There's the singing way to say I love you There's the singing something someone really likes to hear, The singing way, the singing way, the singing way to say I love you.

Cleaning up a room can say I love you. Hanging up a coat before you're asked to Drawing special pictures for the holidays and Making plays.

You'll find many ways to say I love you. You'll find many ways to understand what love is. Many ways, many ways, many ways to say I love you.

Singing, cleaning, Drawing, being Understanding, Love you.

倾听与安静

罗杰斯先生善于倾听，在倾听中全神贯注，适时提问。他不仅听见说出来的话语，也在听话语背后的人。

“More and more I’ve come to understand that listening is one of the most important things we can do for one another. Whether the other be an adult or a child, our engagement in listening to who that person is can often be our greatest gift.” ~Fred Rogers

安静在罗杰斯先生看来是被现代社会被所低估的宝贵礼物。

Silence today is so rare, so undervalued, that it is an act of resistance.

他在2002年在达特茅斯学院的毕业演讲中，专门给了大家1分钟时间，去回忆一路走来帮助和关爱过他们的人（纪录片也以同样方式结尾）。他说：

I’d like to give you all an invisible gift. A gift of a silent minute to think about those who have helped you become who you are today。

尊贵与独特

罗杰斯非常看重孩童每个人的独特和宝贵。

他有首著名的歌：

It's you I like

It's not the things you wear

It's not the way you do your hair

But it's you I like

The way you are right now

The way down deep inside you

Not the things that hide you

Not your toys

They're just beside you

But it's you I like

Every part of you

Your skin, your eyes, your feelings

Whether old or new

I hope that you'll remember

Even when you're feeling blue

That it's you I like

It's you yourself

It's you

It's you I like

片子里很令人感动的一幕，就是罗杰斯先生和坐在轮椅上的男孩Jeff Erlanger一起唱这首歌。

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFmpfEFjdFM

工作和呼召

罗杰斯先生原计划读完神学后成为牧师，但是他后来决定选择电视行业进行侍奉。他进入电视行业，是因为觉得电视能够本能够很好的工具，却被滥用。他说：我进入电视行业，不是因为我喜欢，而是因为不喜欢。他期待能够通过做儿童教育节目来服侍孩童。

他的电视节目始于1968年，美国动荡的一年，节目终于2001年，网络时代的曙光之下。

他说，在他看来，从镜头到观众之间的空间是神圣的。因为节目必须保证包容性，他不能使用信仰的语言。但是他一切的节目内容都在传达从信仰而来的价值观。节目所有的台本和歌曲都是他用心所写，他还负责了大部分的布偶表演。

他从不粉饰这个世界，而是用孩子们能理解的语言和表达，向他们解释许多大人们逃避的话题：肯尼迪被刺、哥伦比亚号爆炸、死亡、离婚……帮助孩子们中理解这个复杂和令人困惑的世界。

他从不把收看他节目的孩子们作为商业目标以获取利益。他所作的，是帮助孩子们意识到自身的价值。他的节目布景里一边是他平淡无奇的客厅，一边是make believe小镇，却成了孩子们童年最宝贵的财富。

他的真诚和对孩子们的爱，甚至打动了参议员 （起初态度非常轻蔑），为PBS电视台获得了2千万美元的资金支持。（//www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKy7ljRr0AA）

片中有个片段，是罗杰斯先生邀请黑人警官一起泡脚，非常自然和真诚。当时的大背景是，因为种族隔离政策，黑人不允许在公众游泳池游泳。他通过这一简单的举动，向孩子们传达什么是爱和接纳。

罗杰斯先生的独特之处，就如Brett McCracken写的影评题目所说：“他让良善显得吸引人（Mister Rogers Made Goodness Attractive） 。”

过去的经历

罗杰斯先生在访谈里说，开始工作后，有两件的事对他很有造就。一件事是刚开始在纽约的电视台工作，有些人对待他没有尊重而如同仆人。另一次，他希望询问一位明星可否和她合影，对方轻蔑的拒绝。这些事他希望尽力带着尊重对待他人。有人希望和他合影，他也从不拒绝，因为他知道那种感受。

他非常认真的对待工作、生活、他人，但是并不太把自己当回事，而是非常谦卑。

——

附：

Fred Rogers’ 2002 Commencement Address

Wow. What a privilege to be with you all. Since I’ve arrived here in Hanover, many people have greeted me by saying, “It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood.”Well, indeed it is a beautiful day, but before I begin, I’d like you to know that I recognize that you, who live and work here, have had many days, particularly during these last several months, that have been far from beautiful. You’ve had a painful time, and you’ve handled it with dignity. I feel certain that the Zantop’s generous spirits inspire you. And it’s a great privilege for me to be with you all.

When I was at Dartmouth in the late 1940s, the tuition, room, and board all added up to $1,100 a year. Nobody owned a home computer, and hardly anyone had a television set. And those who did, there was a choice of three channels. I’m not sure if Jeanne Shaheen was even born yet, but very few people would have guessed that within 50 years, a woman would be governor or New Hampshire. Yes. When I was here, the first word of the alma mater was “Men. Men of Dartmouth give a rouse.”Well, now the first word is "Dear." Some things change for the better.

During my first year here, I lived right over there at 101 Middle Mass. And I had two roommates. I had a professor, over there, who did his best to scare everyone in his class, and he gave me the lowest grade that I ever had in any school anywhere. But I also had an astronomy professor, George Dimitrov, who looked for and found what was best in each of his students. When I look at the night sky, I still think of that extra special, kind man.

Dartmouth is many things to each of us, and I'm grateful to Jim and Susan Wright for all that they have done for this school. And I’m grateful to my old friend, Chick Koop, for all that he has done for all of us. And I congratulate every one of you who is being honored in any way during this Commencement weekend.

Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal. We are intimately related. May we never even pretend that we are not.

Have you heard my favorite story that came from the Seattle Special Olympics? Well, for the 100-yard dash, there were nine contestants, all of them so-called physically or mentally disabled. All nine of them assembled at the starting line, and at the sound of the gun, they took off. But not long afterward, one little boy stumbled and fell, and hurt his knee and began to cry. The other eight children heard him crying. They slowed down, turned around, and ran back to him. Every one of them ran back to him. One little girl with Down Syndrome bent down and kissed the boy, and said, “This'll make it better.”The little boy got up, and he and the rest of the runners linked their arms together, and joyfully walked to the finish line. They all finished the race at the same time. And when they did, everyone in that stadium stood up, and clapped, and whistled, and cheered for a long, long time. People who were there are still telling this story with great delight. And you know why. Because deep down, we know that what matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What really matters is helping others win, too. Even if it means slowing down and changing our course now and then.

Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius—what a name—was the last of the great Roman philosophers, and the first of the scholastics of the Middle Ages. Fifteen hundred years ago, Boethius wrote this sentence, “O happy race of mortals, if your hearts are ruled as is the universe, by Love.”

I was once invited to sit in on a master class of six young cellists from the Pittsburgh Youth Symphony Orchestra. The master teacher was Yo-Yo Ma. Now, Yo-Yo is the most other-oriented genius I’ve every known. His music comes from a very deep place within his being. And during that master class, Yo-Yo gently led those young cellists into understandings about their instruments, their music, and their selves, which some of them told me later, they’d carry with them forever.

I can still see the face of one young man who had just finished playing a movement of Brahms’Cello Sonata, when Yo-Yo said, “Nobody else can make the sound you make.”Of course, he meant that as a compliment to the young man. Nevertheless, he meant that also for everyone in the class. Nobody else can make the sound you make. Nobody else can choose to make that particular sound in that particular way.

I’m very much interested in choices, and what it is, and who it is, that enable us human beings to make the choices we make all through our lives. What choices lead to ethnic cleansing? What choices lead to healing? What choices lead to the destruction of the environment, the erosion of the Sabbath, suicide bombings, or teenagers shooting teachers. What choices encourage heroism in the midst of chaos?

I have a lot of framed things in my office, which people have given to me through the years. And on my walls are Greek, and Hebrew, and Russian, and Chinese. And beside my chair, is a French sentence from Saint-Exupery’sLittle Prince. It reads, “L’essential est invisible pour les yeux.”What is essential is invisible to the eye. Well, what is essential about you? And who are those who have helped you become the person you are? Anyone who has ever graduated from a college, anyone who has ever been able to sustain a good work, has had at least one person, and often many, who have believed in him or her. We just don’t get to be competent human beings without a lot of different investments from others.

I’d like to give you all an invisible gift. A gift of a silent minute to think about those who have helped you become who you are today. Some of them may be here right now. Some may be far away. Some, like my astronomy professor, may even be in Heaven. But wherever they are, if they’ve loved you, and encouraged you, and wanted what was best in life for you, they’re right inside your self. And I feel that you deserve quiet time, on this special occasion, to devote some thought to them. So, let’s just take a minute, in honor of those that have cared about us all along the way. One silent minute.

Whomever you’ve been thinking about, imagine how grateful they must be, that during your silent times, you remember how important they are to you. It’s not the honors and the prizes, and the fancy outsides of life which ultimately nourish our souls. It’s the knowing that we can be trusted. That we never have to fear the truth. That the bedrock of our lives, from which we make our choices, is very good stuff.

There’s a neighborhood song that is meant for the child in each of us, and I’dlike to give you the words of that song right now. “It’s you I like, it’s not the things you wear. It’s not the way you do your hair, but it’s you I like. The way you are right now, the way down deep inside you. Not the things that hide you. Not your caps and gowns, they’re just beside you. But it’s you I like. Every part of you. Your skin, your eyes, your feelings. Whether old or new, I hope that you remember, even when you're feeling blue, that it’s you I like. It’s you, yourself, it’s you. It’s you I like.”

And what that ultimately means, of course, is that you don't ever have to do anything sensational for people to love you. When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see, or hear, or touch. That deep part of you, that allows you to stand for those things, without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate. Peace that rises triumphant over war. And justice that proves more powerful than greed.

So, in all that you do in all of your life, I wish you the strength and the grace to make those choices which will allow you and your neighbor to become the best of whoever you are. Congratulations to you all.

//news.dartmouth.edu/news/2018/03/revisiting-fred-rogers-2002-commencement-address

其他链接

//www.faithgateway.com/mr-rogers-quiet-revolution/#.XxUnsfj0nlw

//www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/mr-rogers-goodness-attractive/

//www.russellmoore.com/2018/03/21/mister-rogers-still-matters/

片段

Sometimes I Wonder If I'm A Mistake (with duet) - Fred Rogers

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dACAme8FFw

What do you do with the mad you feel when you feel so mad you could bite, when the whole wide world seems oh so wrong and nothing you do seems very right? It's great to be able to stop, when you've planned a thing that's wrong, and be able to do something else instead and think this song. I can stop when I want to, can stop when I wish, can stop, stop, stop anytime. Know that there's something deep inside that helps us become what we can.

When I was at Dartmouth in the late 1940s, the tuition, room, and board all added up to $1,100 a year. Nobody owned a home computer, and hardly anyone had a television set. And those who did, there was a choice of three channels. I’m not sure if Jeanne Shaheen was even born yet, but very few people would have guessed that within 50 years, a woman would be governor or New Hampshire. Yes. When I was here, the first word of the alma mater was “Men. Men of Dartmouth give a rouse.”Well, now the first word is "Dear." Some things change for the better.

During my first year here, I lived right over there at 101 Middle Mass. And I had two roommates. I had a professor, over there, who did his best to scare everyone in his class, and he gave me the lowest grade that I ever had in any school anywhere. But I also had an astronomy professor, George Dimitrov, who looked for and found what was best in each of his students. When I look at the night sky, I still think of that extra special, kind man.

Dartmouth is many things to each of us, and I'm grateful to Jim and Susan Wright for all that they have done for this school. And I’m grateful to my old friend, Chick Koop, for all that he has done for all of us. And I congratulate every one of you who is being honored in any way during this Commencement weekend.

Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal. We are intimately related. May we never even pretend that we are not.

Have you heard my favorite story that came from the Seattle Special Olympics? Well, for the 100-yard dash, there were nine contestants, all of them so-called physically or mentally disabled. All nine of them assembled at the starting line, and at the sound of the gun, they took off. But not long afterward, one little boy stumbled and fell, and hurt his knee and began to cry. The other eight children heard him crying. They slowed down, turned around, and ran back to him. Every one of them ran back to him. One little girl with Down Syndrome bent down and kissed the boy, and said, “This'll make it better.”The little boy got up, and he and the rest of the runners linked their arms together, and joyfully walked to the finish line. They all finished the race at the same time. And when they did, everyone in that stadium stood up, and clapped, and whistled, and cheered for a long, long time. People who were there are still telling this story with great delight. And you know why. Because deep down, we know that what matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What really matters is helping others win, too. Even if it means slowing down and changing our course now and then.

Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius—what a name—was the last of the great Roman philosophers, and the first of the scholastics of the Middle Ages. Fifteen hundred years ago, Boethius wrote this sentence, “O happy race of mortals, if your hearts are ruled as is the universe, by Love.”

I was once invited to sit in on a master class of six young cellists from the Pittsburgh Youth Symphony Orchestra. The master teacher was Yo-Yo Ma. Now, Yo-Yo is the most other-oriented genius I’ve every known. His music comes from a very deep place within his being. And during that master class, Yo-Yo gently led those young cellists into understandings about their instruments, their music, and their selves, which some of them told me later, they’d carry with them forever.

I can still see the face of one young man who had just finished playing a movement of Brahms’Cello Sonata, when Yo-Yo said, “Nobody else can make the sound you make.”Of course, he meant that as a compliment to the young man. Nevertheless, he meant that also for everyone in the class. Nobody else can make the sound you make. Nobody else can choose to make that particular sound in that particular way.

I’m very much interested in choices, and what it is, and who it is, that enable us human beings to make the choices we make all through our lives. What choices lead to ethnic cleansing? What choices lead to healing? What choices lead to the destruction of the environment, the erosion of the Sabbath, suicide bombings, or teenagers shooting teachers. What choices encourage heroism in the midst of chaos?

I have a lot of framed things in my office, which people have given to me through the years. And on my walls are Greek, and Hebrew, and Russian, and Chinese. And beside my chair, is a French sentence from Saint-Exupery’s Little Prince. It reads, “L’essential est invisible pour les yeux.”What is essential is invisible to the eye. Well, what is essential about you? And who are those who have helped you become the person you are? Anyone who has ever graduated from a college, anyone who has ever been able to sustain a good work, has had at least one person, and often many, who have believed in him or her. We just don’t get to be competent human beings without a lot of different investments from others.

I’d like to give you all an invisible gift. A gift of a silent minute to think about those who have helped you become who you are today. Some of them may be here right now. Some may be far away. Some, like my astronomy professor, may even be in Heaven. But wherever they are, if they’ve loved you, and encouraged you, and wanted what was best in life for you, they’re right inside your self. And I feel that you deserve quiet time, on this special occasion, to devote some thought to them. So, let’s just take a minute, in honor of those that have cared about us all along the way. One silent minute.

Whomever you’ve been thinking about, imagine how grateful they must be, that during your silent times, you remember how important they are to you. It’s not the honors and the prizes, and the fancy outsides of life which ultimately nourish our souls. It’s the knowing that we can be trusted. That we never have to fear the truth. That the bedrock of our lives, from which we make our choices, is very good stuff.

There’s a neighborhood song that is meant for the child in each of us, and I’dlike to give you the words of that song right now. “It’s you I like, it’s not the things you wear. It’s not the way you do your hair, but it’s you I like. The way you are right now, the way down deep inside you. Not the things that hide you. Not your caps and gowns, they’re just beside you. But it’s you I like. Every part of you. Your skin, your eyes, your feelings. Whether old or new, I hope that you remember, even when you're feeling blue, that it’s you I like. It’s you, yourself, it’s you. It’s you I like.”

And what that ultimately means, of course, is that you don't ever have to do anything sensational for people to love you. When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see, or hear, or touch. That deep part of you, that allows you to stand for those things, without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate. Peace that rises triumphant over war. And justice that proves more powerful than greed.

So, in all that you do in all of your life, I wish you the strength and the grace to make those choices which will allow you and your neighbor to become the best of whoever you are. Congratulations to you all.

Steven说他小时候有很长一段时间是一个人在家，而陪伴他的只有Mr. Rogers。我没有看过他的节目，看完了纪录片终于明白为什么他能受到这么多人的爱戴。他对小朋友说I like you just the way you are... thank you for being you。这种无条件的博爱的确近似基督教里上帝对世人的爱，但他以一种完全和孩子平等的身份真挚地说出这些话的时候，我觉得他的爱比任何神的爱还要有力量。印象最深的两个片段：一个是他说服了国会议员给PBS批准二十万美元的资金，另一个是他和大猩猩Koko的互动，他的确有一种魔力让人（甚至动物）都相信他亲近他。纪录片最后说现在的电视节目里已经没有好人的容身之处了。是的，现在都是靠鬼畜搞怪骂人来赚流量博出位。。。Mr. Rogers的真诚、温和、善良，令人怀念。